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Lotsa Laughs at Little Lake's 'Love List'

Everyone is looking for the perfect mate, but what happens when you can actually design one—changing qualities as you go?

A lovelorn statistician, Bill (a superb Kevin Bass), is given a heck of an awesome 50th birthday present in Norm Foster’s three-hander, “The Love List,” at Little Lake Theatre.

Bill’s philandering friend Leon (Phil Powell) gives him a sheet of paper. On it, Bill must write down the top 10 qualities he wants in a partner, so that he can be matched to a perfect mate by an old gypsy woman.

Leon wants to list several superficial qualities, including large breasts and a penchant for fellatio. Bill, however, inscribes the list with loftier qualities like ambitiousness, independence and unpredictability.

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When the woman, Justine (a terrific Helga Terre), strolls into his life as if she’s been there all along, things get really weird.

At first, Bill is perplexed by the arrival of this mystery woman. He believes Leon has sent her as a joke. He thinks she’s a high-paid call girl, intent on emulating the characteristics on the list.

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When Leon decides to make changes on the list, things get even weirder. It turns out that Justine is the physical manifestation of anything written on the list. When Leon scratches out one quality and replaces it, Justine’s behavior reflects the change. Add singing to the list, and Justine belts out a tune.

Bill decides he has the perfect woman, except she doesn’t seem to exist outside of his apartment. That, and every time Bill and Leon tamper with the list, they risk unpredictable results. Bill and Leon should have heeded Robert Burns, the poet warns, “The best laid plans of mice and men, oft gang agley (go awry).”

“The Love List” is a delicious follow up to “.” In “Comic Potential,” the perfect woman was a robot, also fed a specific list of qualifications. In “The Love List,” another fantasy woman comes to life.

Both seem to be sophisticated updates on 60s sitcoms, with R-rated dialogue. A fantasy woman comes to life and causes chaos for their potential mates; it’s all “I Dream of Jeanie,” “Bewitched” and “Nanny and the Professor,” with modern sensibilities.

The play has one minor fault. It goes on one scene too long and insists on wrapping up everything in a pretty package with a bow on top.

Imagine a whirlwind rollercoaster ride that comes to an abrupt clunky stop. The dialogue in the final scene seems forced and heavy-handed as Bill and Leon lament their misfortune and strive to be better human beings. You almost expect their final words to be, "The End!"

Terre is a force of nature, chewing the cluttered scenery of Bill’s apartment. Bass is wonderfully neurotic, and Powell manages to garner a laugh with just a look.

Art DeConciliis does another masterful job as the resident director at Little Lake.

“The Love List” is lewd and lascivious fun. Check it out. The play runs  through Aug. 11-13.

Editor's Note: This article originally appeared on Peters Patch.

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