The eye doctor snapped her gum and looked over the chart with a keen disinterest before adding, “Tell me if this describes you.”

Then she went through the list:

“Do you drink too much caffeine?”

That’s affirmative.

“Do you have a stressful job?”

Check on that too, Doc.

“Do you get enough sleep?”

Nope.

And then she looked at me and said, “That might be what’s causing the eye twitch.”

Yes, I have an eye twitch.

And before I got the reading glasses that were a compromise between me and the good doctor, I was really thinking of resorting to wearing some sort of Bedazzled eye patch.

While friends have suggested that it would be endlessly entertaining to have a green eye patch with the trademarked “P” for your friendly, neighborhood Patch editor, I think it might be distracting during interviews.

And besides, the eye patch won’t help the underlying cause of the bothersome twitch—it’s likely because I stress too much while spending the better part of each day strung out on coffee after little sleep.

You know, that old chestnut.

But back to the compromise: The doctor prescribed me reading glasses more for glare and eye fatigue than anything and asked me to please cut down on my coffee consumption.

And I felt like she told me, “Abandon one of your oldest, dearest friends—the one who was always there to warm your hands in the winter and to give you the mental boost you needed to get that last sewage story written.”

Cutting down on coffee is an almost unfathomable thought. It’s a part of my work ritual—a desk just doesn’t look quite right unless there’s a gaudy coffee cup filled to the brim with piping hot caffeine goodness.

I will admit that perhaps my habit—which generally includes drinking a pot at home and an additional Venti or two if I’m really having a rough day—is a little much.

Even my nephew chimed in on my addiction after seeing the huge latte I ordered at a local Starbucks.

Then when he found out about my coffee mathmatics—that there were 10 cups in a pot and I usually drank all 10 cups he just stared at me in surprise before telling me, “You need to quit chugging coffee.”

So I’m stuck.

Like any addict, I know the stuff is bad for me, but I just can’t seem to stay away from it.

And I’m not gonna lie to you, either: If the eye twitch would have completely subsided, I would have just forgotten about the doctor’s request that I cut down on my consumption.

But it didn’t. And then Nicholas yelled at me, so I feel like I have to make a plan.

I tried one other time to give up coffee cold turkey and it didn’t work.

I’ve heard some people swap out tea for their normal cups of joe.

Others say go the half-caffeine route.

So I’m pleading for your help: If you’ve beaten the coffee habit, let me know in the comments how you did it. And if you tried to beat the coffee habit and didn’t, give me your email address so I can invite you to an eye patch Bedazzle party.

Hey, when it comes to fashion, sometimes there’s safety in numbers.